Statement from Statler and Waldorf

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Today 'Johnny come lately' webblogger, Roger Charles Doughty Tichborne, has published a photograph on his internet journal which suggests that Mr Nick Walkey has appointed us to his Cabinet of Councillors.

We are unable to confirm or deny this but can let you know discussions are taking place regarding an appropriate package and use of the Mayoral car.

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A very Merry Christmas from Statler and Waldorf

Waldorf and I are huge fans of Les Miserables. We were lucky enough to get tickets for the opening night at the Barbican Theatre, back in 1985, and have been addicted ever since. As a free gift to all of our loyal readers we give you one of our favourite scenes (first 40 seconds is introduction).

UPDATE: Waldorf and I have been unindated with emails from readers guffawing with laughter watching the clip imagining Monsieur Thenardier as Brian Coleman or Andreas Tambourides and Madame Thenardier as Lynne Hillan or Joanna Tambourides. Waldorf and I can only condemn such wicked thoughts in the minds of our readers. Really.

We can only pass on the top comment from the YouTube page:

"The Thernadiers are scum....but damn, you gotta love em!!"

Now who could possibly say that of any of our Barnet politicians?

Meltdown at Barnet Council

Statler and I have been receiving frantic telegrams and carrier pidgeon messages about the Grant Thornton report condemning the handling of the Future Shape program.

Unconfirmed rumours suggest that Andreas 'Hit Man' Tambourides has instructed fellow Conservatives on Audit Committee that they are not allowed to embarass Lynne Hillan / Howard or the Officers by asking any questions on the report at the meeting. Only questions that have been approved by the Officers can be asked. If Conservatives on this Committee tomorrow night are strangely quiet, you will know why.

We are also trying to get a comment from Department for Communities as to whether it is true that they are appointing an independent investigation to look into goings in at Barnet Council in the wake of this scathing report.

Johnny come lately, weblogger, Roger Tichbourne has posted here and here on the growing crisis. Statler and I are befuddled as to how a 'politically neutral' Officer of the Council has seemingly become a major player in the public debate between Councillors and Mr Tichbourne.

Statler and I are in no doubt that Cllrs Marshall and Harper will be getting ready to claim their crown very shortly...

A moment of silence please

Statler and I have been informed that our erstwhile colleague of many years, Mr Brian Reynolds, has been pushed out by Nick Walkley and his stormtroopers decided to move on to other opportunities which coincided with Mr Walkley restructuring his top team.

We wish the clapped out old wooly hatted, thermos carrying commie great man, with a wealth of experience in local government and a staunch reputation for political neutrality, all the best in his staring out of the window from his front room future endeavours.

Those with an interest in these matters can read about the restructure what the Council thinks you should be allowed to see here.

Statler and I have posted an excerpt from the minutes above showing how far Barnet Council is truly embracing the coalition goverment's approach to transparency.

Fiddlesticks! We were one vote out...

Statler and I have been kicking our big brown wooden clockwork Predicting Machine this morning. The damn thing is clearly faulty as it was a whole vote out from getting Lynne Hillan's vote correct. Maybe we are being too harsh as we chose not to pay the extra £5,633 for the Global Positioning System Device add on that would have alerted it to the fact that Alison Cornelius was in Strasbourg and hence unable to vote for her cherished friend, Lynne.

Which Councillors will face the chop in Hillan's new wheeze : compulsory deselections?

Statler and I have been reliably informed that Lynne Hillan's 'off the cuff' comment in her interview to the Press about some 'national initiative' on reducing Councillor numbers

...There is a national scheme looking at whether it should be three councillors per ward or maybe it should be two, that would shrink the pot immediately.

is being worked up now. Increasingly confident of victory against young padawan, Mark Shooter, contacts have apparently already been made with the Boundary Commission for England.

We understand Ms Hillan / Howard plans to move fast to reassert her crumbling authority as soon as the Annual Group Meeting is over. The Council has received very positive mood music from the Boundary Commission and, apparently, this move could be expedited as parliament is also moving fast with parliamentary boundary changes. Two Councillors per ward would be in place for 2014 with 'compulsory deselections', here are our predictions for those who Hillan would force out using this new wheeze.

Brunswick Park : Lisa Rutter (easy guess this one!)
East Barnet : Barry Evangeli (despite brown nosing Ms Hillan, his ward colleagues would win out)
Edgware : Darrel Yawitch (Statler and I predict in this one it will be last in first out!)
Finchley Church End : Graham Old (Eva Greenspan and Dan Thomas have too strong a following)
Hale : Tom 'Boombastic' Davey (Hugh Rayner has played both sides well and will be safe and Brian Gordon has too deep roots to budge him)
Hendon : Mark Shooter (Maureen Braun is a rock solid Hillanite and Anthony Finn is well established. Hillan will teach Shooter a lesson for daring to take her on)
High Barnet : David Longstaff (The Two Fat Ladies (TM) will not be for moving)
Mill Hill : Brian Schama (just for having the temerity to challenge one of the Fat Ladies (TM))
Oakleigh : Brian Salinger (Hillan's victory over her old adversary would be complete)
Totteridge : Brian Coleman (Lord and Lady Cornelius are simply too well entrenched there. It would suit Hillan to be rid of Coleman now he had outlived his usefulness. The truth is he already knows this...

So there are our predictions. You will know if we are right in 18 months, not too long to wait. What do you think? Comment below.

The twenty Conservative Councillors we think are sure to back Hillan

Statler and I are still trying to find out about this young padawan, Shooter, but in the meantime we are putting our minds to how he can possibly win. It would need an earthquake. This Conservative Group, certainly the Chipping Barnet Councillors, was hand designed by Lynne Hillan/Howard, Brian Coleman and Michael Whitney Freer for the sole purpose of removing Brian Salinger in 2006. In a stepford wives kind of way they are programmed to love their Leader.

For this upstart, Shooter, to win he needs 20 votes (unless there are abstentions). So Statler and I, after catching up on Home and Away thought we would speculate on the 20 Conservative Group Councillors most loyal to Lynne Howard/Hillan (depends who's asking (tm)).

1. Brian Coleman - need we say any more?
2. Helena Hart - loyal Freerite and Cabinet member. Mike Freer would have made sure he supports Mrs Hillan.
3. Andreas Tambourides (Licensing Chairman SRA to increase by 50% - meets twice a year - even after supposed u-turn)- together with his wife a big winner in the allowance increases. The Godfather of the outfit.
4. Hugh Rayner (Business Management OSC Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - loyal henchman of Lynne Hillan. Put out memo defending her decision.
5. Dan Thomas - loyal Freerite and Cabinet member. Mike Freer would have made sure he supports Mrs Hillan.
6. Richard Cornelius - loyal Hillan supporter and Cabinet member. Put his neck on the line, as Chairman, writing a letter to Conservative members in Chipping Barnet without seeking proper support.
7. Andrew Harper - deputy Leader and key architect of the original rise. Ran for cover whilst Mrs Hillan was in Spain but left Coleman do to the dirty work. Seen by most as having undergone a vertebrectomy.
8. Robert Rams - Brian Coleman's poodle and Cabinet member.
9. Joanna Tambourides - Andreas will expect his wife to obey his commandments !
10. Maureen Braun - Part of the original plotters. Would probably be deselected if Mrs Hillan went.
11. Joan Scannell (General Functions Committee Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - who loyally followed Lynne Hillan and Brian Coleman's instruction to discipline Kate Salinger in that brutal public way.
12. Alison Cornelius (Health OSC Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - she has been fighting a strong rearguard action against the rebellious women's committee in Chipping Barnet supporting Lynne Hillan down the line.
13. Darryl Yawitch (Budget & Performance OSC Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - Lynne Hillan's latest 'blue eyed boy'.
14. Barry Evangeli - one of the new Councillors who loyally followed instructions to ban discussion at the Chipping Barnet Residents' forum.
15. Brian Gordon (Policy and Performance OSC Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - Lynne Hillan's assistant Cabinet member for a while. Seen as loyal to her.
16. Melvin Cohen - inseparable from Lynne Hillan under the correct assumption that noone else would give him a job in the Cabinet.
17. Lisa Rutter - ward colleagues with Lynne Hillan and Andreas Tambourides, not going to want to rock the boat!
18. Sach Rajput - Cabinet member, all of the Cabinet are behind Lynne Hillan.
19. Wendy Prentice (Planning and Environment Committee Chairman SRA to increase by 50% even after supposed u-turn) - Chairman of the Conservative Group.
20. Bridget Perry - tends to follow her Ward colleague.

This is not intended to be an exhaustive list and we have left off many new Councillors who we haven't had time to observe or hear reports about to confidently speculate about.

So, chaps and chappesses, what do you think of our fantasy Conservative Group speculation? Which names do you think we have right? Which names have we got wrong? Comment away below - we expect, nee demand, strong debate.

Are one of these Councillors your local Councillors? Do you know then in another context? Why not email them and ask them who they are supporting and why?

Of to bed now, after a creme de menthe...

Conservative Party in Barnet in disarray

One of the factors for Waldorf and I return to our weblogging adventures has been the distress and anger that many of our dear lady friends in Chipping Barnet Conservatives. We have been flooded with telegrams and even the odd call on our telephone. It seems that the backbone of Conservative life in Barnet, the Conservative Womens' Committee are up in arms.

They are up in arms over the greed of the Leader and Cabinet in Barnet and also at the shocking lack of leadership shown by Theresa Villiers MP. Waldorf and I have seen the most frightfully cross correspondance. The recent uturn from Mrs Hillan/Howard on the issue of allowances following our return to the interwebs has been met with hostility. It is not seen as genuine and a last gasp to hold on to her job.

One very prominent lady in Chipping Barnet put it most forcefully,

It is far, far to late to be talking about tweaking the allowances now. We have had four weeks of dreadful headlines and national media coverage. The name of Barnet Conservatives is now dirt. It is going to take much firmer action to restore our fortunes.

Firstly that wretched woman, Hillan, must go and her hangers on Coleman, Harper et al must be sent to the backbenches. Secondly, we need some energetic firm leadership that will deliver in Barnet the policies that Conservatives voted for and are being advocated most excellently by Eric Pickles.

Now Waldorf and I are simple folk and nowhere near as partisan as our 'blue rinse' lady friend but her anger is widely felt. Conservative Councillors who are thinking about sticking with Mrs Hillan/Howard should think very hard as to how their members and future members will think.

P.S. Who is this Mark Shooter chap? Anyone care to let us know?
 

Thank you to Mr Roger Tichbourne

Statler and I are most grateful to Mr Roger Tichbourne. He has written a nice little article which has spotted our return from exile. For those of you with unrestricted interweb access the piece can be read here.

Back from our break, we have noticed that Mr Tichbourne has been blogging an awful lot of late and we are concerned for his stress levels. We hope that as soon as he can he will take a well earned holiday! Of course as a dedicated blogger we know that right now would be an unthinkable time to leave Barnet, with everything else going, on so we rest assured that he will spend as much of the next few weeks as possible breathing in the fresh Mill Hill air and enjoying the views.

With low interest rates and our savings much depleted, the nearest thing we get to luxury these days, is Sainsbury's value sherry and Countdown followed by Deal or No Deal.

Crikey

Statler and I are a bit taken aback about how lively things have become during our enforced period of absence.

Anyone care to update us? Who won the Edgware by-election?

Mozzeltov! and the gun is fired for the battle of Edgware

Word reaches Statler and I, that erstwhile friend of this blog, former Councillor Richard Weider, has landed in Tel Aviv with his wife (pictured left) to start his new life as an Israeli citizen. His Council webpage has had his personal details removed and a 'For Sale' sign is up outside his house.

We have been told Michael Whitney Freer is holding an undated letter from Mr Wieder for him to submit as a time best suited to him.

We wish them both a happy future.

The campaign in Edgware Ward is well underway. Sources close to the campaign of a popular independent candidate tell us that it has been planned for several months and much of the literature is written and funding in place. Her identity is still secret, which we shall respect for now.

It looks like the current parties may have a big fight on their hands based on what Statler and I have been forwarded. As none of the political parties have any organisation in the Ward, and the Conservative Party don't have an agent - will an independent have a chance of knocking down an impressive looking majority?

Will curse of Jonah Brown now hit Mike Freer?

Statler and I have panned Michael Whitney Freer's self indulgent and unconstitutional blog, Leader Lectures Leader Listens.

We have commented as to how he has blocked half of the residents who have left comments on his blog from being heard.

With OGL having less than two months left as Leader, Statler and I would never wish this fate on him.

In a shockingly disturbing development Gordon 'Jonah' Brown's crumbling government have given their full endorsement to the huge wasteful program that duplicates the work of local Councillors.

Those who follow Guido's blog will know the fully terrifying effect of such endorsements...

Be scared. Be very scared.

"I didn't ask any questions" - separated at birth?

Waldorf and I have spotted many similarities between Prime Mentalist, Gordon Brown and GDfB Leader, Michael Whitney Freer. It would seem that the similarities run deeper than we thought. Yesterday it emerged, after deep and persistent questioning from the excellent Michael Fallon MP, that Lord Myners simply hadn't asked any questions about the RBS pension deal.
Yesterday, also, it was leaked that Michael Whitney Freer similarly hadn't bothered to ask any questions about where £2billion of Council Tax Payers money was being invested. Maybe he was too busy laying back and getting a tan?
Were these two former Bankers separated at birth?

Sloppy Iceland reporting at Barnet Times

Our dear friends, at the sloppy Barnet Times, are reporting sketchy details of a report into the Iceland fiasco before it has even been published. Word reaches us that it may not have even been finalised. Further the report of the Working Party has no weight or force until it is considered at the meeting of it's parent Scrutiny committee on 25th March.

Obviously never ones to let the facts get in the way of a good story, and to fill the small gaps in their paper not taken up by wall to wall advertising, they have given two small paragraphs to an analysis of what we can only assume is a weighty and serious report.

Statler and I are waiting by our interweb machine for this report to be published properly and then shall be happy to report, at some length, on what it means and who should carry the can.

P.S. Why are the Barnet Times reporting Mr Nick Walkley, the new Chief Executive for GDfB, as 'defending the Leader' on this, similarly why is he, seemingly commenting on a report that has yet to be published? Quite huge gaffes, if correct, for his first week. Please let us know if we need to be corrected.

Questions to Our Great Listening Leader (OGLL)

17 March 2009 - update 2: Don'tCallmeDave got an answer to his question at this week's Hendon Residents' Forum. The answer revealed that Michael Whitney Freer himself banned half of all the comments that residents of Barnet - who pay his considerable wages and for his 'Leader Lectures' blog - put on his blog.

What has he got to hide in answering these questions? What scares him so much that he daren't even publish them? To coin a phrase, "Is he frit?"

Update: One day on, no sign of the questions.....


Statler and I have received an email from one of our many kind correspondents. She pointed out that Councillor Michael Whitney Freer is answering questions from all comers at his new website (much to Councillor Coleman's consternation). We have asked 5 questions, see them below. Will OGLL ban them?

Has anyone told Barnet Council Conservatives this is the Party's policy?

Statler and I like Question Time. Mr Dimblebum is a great Chairman. We were particular impressed by the strident performance of the Conservative's excellent Cohesion spokesman, Sayeeda Waarsi.

[Full episode here for a few days, it is about 27mins in, you can cut out the beginning]

In a fierce debate with Labour's Alan Johnson she defined Conservative's approach to the hideous failed 'state multiculturalism', which she defines as the state viewing people not as individuals but blocks of people that are communicated with via a group leader.

Unfortunately the approach of Barnet Council and Barnet's Parliamentary candidates Michael Whitney Freer and Matthew Offord is precisely the one that the Labour Party in Government - something they are proud of and apply for awards about. See here and here for just two examples.

Has noone told them what their own Party's policy is, we wonder.....?

Here is most of the debate.

Alan Johnson: We deal with anyone who can carry a message and speak on behalf of a group of people... but in terms of community cohesion you have to find people who carry some weight and some respect in the community.

Sayeeda Warsi: Do we do that for White people? That's wrong, Alan. Do we actually go out and say, right, we now need to speak to the White people in Britain so we'll find a group that represents White people? We don't, so why do we do it for other religious groups in this country. It is wrong and it has gotta stop.

David Dimbleby: So what do you want to stop?

Sayeeda Warsi: I want (the Govt) to stop seeing groups of people as a block that have to be talked to through a Leader. They don't, people have individual needs, people have individual views and people need to be engaged with individually on the basis of their needs.

Nobody should speak for the Muslim community, why should they, people are individuals. They should speak for themselves.

Alan Johnson: (In my constituency in Hull) we talk to the Afro Caribbean community, they have a representative. We talk increasingly to the community of people from the Middle East, usually Iraqi Kurds they have representatives. In any society, in any group, the faith groups here will be talking to other faith groups.

....

Alan Johnson: But in any community cohesion you must talk to representatives of different groups.

Sayeeda Warsi: No, you don't

Alan Johnson: Yes, you do

Sayeeda Warsi: Let me come back on one thing. It is exactly this form of state multiculturalism that has focussed on the things that divide us rather than those things that divide us and is has got to stop.

Statler and I strongly support Sayeeda brave stance. We believe she speaks for the majority of residents of Barnet. She will especially cheer the hearts of those in Barnet who's views are ignored by the Council and replaced with 'Tribal Leaders' who effectively silence their own opinions. The Council should treat all it's resident's equally, without fear or favour.

We look forward to Conservative policies replacing the current Labour ones in Barnet Council.

+++STRONG RUMOURS - SENIOR CONSERVATIVES URGE FREER TO STAND ASIDE THIS MAY AMID ICELAND CHAOS+++

After picking the pockets of Barnet taxpayers to fund his massive pay increase, Fagin-bourides says "I'm reviewing the situation"

The Barnet Times and Barnet Press have finally caught up with our story on Councillor expenses we first reported on 23 February. Statler and I reported the biggest person to gain was Councillor Thirtygrandbourides A. Fagin-bourides, this was the man who put his hand in the air to vote himself a 20%+ increase in pay moments after voting to force up Council Tax in Barnet by one of the highest hikes in London.

As Dickens rightly pointed out, money doesn't grow on trees you got to pick a Barnet pocket or two (hundred thousand) !



To give OGL credit, when Michael Whitney Freer discovered he could forgo the increase he publicly announced he would do so.

Having had considerable time to think about this matter, when Fagin-bourides was contacted by the Press and the Times he refused to confirm that he would follow the principle stance Freer had take. He could well be content to stuff his pockets with cash from people struggling to makes ends meet. (Let us remember, people will be sent to prison to pay this part of the Council take to pay for his increase.)

Apparently there is still time to change his mind as he still 'reviewing the situation'. Help him make his mind up. Here are his contact details from the Council's website:

Councillor A Tambourides,
47 Hampden Way,
Southgate
London

N14 5DJ

020 8368 5417
cllr.a.tambourides@barnet.gov.uk

P.S. Doesn't looking at that face prove the adage that money doesn't make you happy?

OGL's cunning ruse over 50% Councillor pay rises

Statler and I were watching "The World at War" on BBC2. What an excellent series, we feel sure that Olivier chap who narrates over the images has a good career ahead of him.

Rudely interrupted in our viewing we received this Barnet Times news article. Unfortunately the reporting is a bit sloppy as always.

The headline suggests that OGL, Councillor Michael Whitney Freer, has forgone the increase in his pay that he voted himself this year. He continues defend his actions in whipping his Councillors to vote for the increases at the Council meeting. It seems to us that Councillor Freer, and Mayor Twanky, have cooked up a cunning ruse.

Had "Freer 'n' Twanky" (TM) voted against the increase that money would be lost to Councillors forever. This is how things operate in the real world. There are workers in Barnet today having their pay cut. In three years time if they get a 5% pay rise it will be based on their 'cut' pay. Their pay 'cut' won't suddenly be restored. It is permanent.

But no, the "Freer 'n' Twanky" (TM) ruse was hatched. Vote for the increase, get some flack, and then get the Councillors to forego the increase FOR ONE YEAR. When next year, when the heat has subsided and the Council elections are out of the way, they can remove this instruction and the pay 'cut' will be magically restored. Had the Councillors voted against the recommendations at the Council meeting they would have lost this years rise forever.

So we have Councillors suggesting that they have passed over a pay increase this year when in fact they have just deferred it until next year. Subtle point? Maybe but significant and, we think, calculated.

Off to see how WWII ends...

Introducing, as he announced himself, Mayor Twanky designate

As expected the ruling Group of Councillors voted through one of the highest Council Tax increases in London and awarded some of their colleagues 50% increases in some of their pay rates. Waldorf and I will be picking that up later, especially issues regarding the so called 'independent' pay panel.

But in the meantime, to keep you entertained, we introduce Barnet's next Mayor designate (assuming the Conservative Councillors make it on time to the Town Hall at the Annual Meeting) - Mayor Twanky.


P.S. Would someone be kind enough to forward this to Councillor Coleman as he doesn't read our blog